Millennia ago, there slept an ancient being of mysterious origin. He awoke, unexpectedly. Looking around he noticed a lack normality and the plain. Not content with this, he decided to venture out to new lands to find a world fit to for his desires. He searched long and hard thinking maybe there was no place for him. But after a long journey he found a place for him. Upon reaching this new world, his first words were, "Hello, World!" (he was quite the optimist). Who was this mysterious man we've been following you may ask. Well... his name was John. John Language. And the first thing he did was create the world's first programming language: John Language. The second thing he did was create the Midwestern United States.
As optimistic as he was, he was just as plain. Thus, John Language is not the most interesting language—quite mundane even. Everyone who knows John knows he's not the inventive type (he would not invent creativity for another thousand years!). But, what he would invent are his signature catchphrases used by many today. The classic phrase 'How you like them apples?' And when the going gets tough he always had words of advice for his followers. As John Language would tell you, "It'll get ya where you need to go!" Another common saying of John's was, "There's no stopping that neck once it gets going." Archaeologists, however, have yet to uncover what he meant by this.
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